Crash Toni

I fell off the treadmill yesterday at the gym and poked myself in the eye with my own finger when I got too excited watching Jeopardy...I think it's safe to say I'm a klutz.

A Gift To Non-Confrontational People

I cannot believe this! It's a dream come true. I can't count how many times I've wished I could just go to someone's voicemail. Still, I can't help but wonder if this is just one more convenience that will discourage positive social interaction.

NEW YORK (AP) -- The old song had it right: Breaking up is hard to do. But a free new phone service called Slydial might make it easier to get through that and other awkward moments -- without actually having to talk to anyone.
A new service lets you leave a cell-phone voice message without -- horrors! -- actually talking to someone.

Slydial lets you connect directly with another person's cell phone voice mail, bypassing the traditional ringing process that often results -- sometimes disastrously -- with someone picking up on the other end.

Users call (267) SLY-DIAL from either a cell phone or a landline, and are prompted to enter another person's cell phone number.

After playing a short advertisement -- unless users pay a subscription fee or 15 cents per call to skip ads -- Slydial puts callers directly into their target's voice mail.

Recipients should then get a voice mail notification, and sometimes they will see a caller's number show up as a missed call, too.

Gavin Macomber, co-founder of MobileSphere Ltd., the Boston-based communications company behind Slydial, thinks it can be useful not only in the dating scene, but also in the hectic business world.

"Everybody has gone through the scenario where they've called somebody and just hoped they got voice mail so they didn't have to have a conversation," he said.

Indeed, Nora Rubinoff, 45, who runs an administrative support company, At Your Service Cincinnati Ltd., has found Slydial helpful both for business and personal situations. She has left reminder messages for people one of her clients intends to interview.

And when her husband travels to a different time zone for work, she can leave him a Slydial message without disturbing him at an odd time of day, she said.

"It's been really handy," she said.

Macomber said the idea for Slydial came up while MobileSphere developed the voice mail routing component of a service meant to lower the cost of international roaming on cell phones.

The company rolled out a private test phase of Slydial in March, and has added about 5,000 users since then. The service opened to the general public in a "beta" testing phase on Monday.

The ability to call straight into someone's voice mail is not new. Most major cell phone carriers offer subscribers the option of sending voice messages to other people, but usually only to customers of the same wireless company. What's different here is that Slydial makes it possible to do it with any major wireless carrier's customer.

There are constraints to this service. It can only be used in the U.S. right now, and generally won't work with prepaid cell phones. Also, sly dialers must have the caller ID feature activated on their phones, which Macomber said is meant, in part, to prevent people from using it to harass people undetected.

It's also not always super sly. Several test calls between cell phones made the recipient's phone emit an abbreviated ring before leading to voice mail. That might make people think the person on the other end really wanted to speak -- and could result in a quick call back. Horror of horrors: A real conversation might ensue after all.

So basically after all my season finales run, I usually enter a very long mourning period because me and my tv cannot have the intimate relationship we keep up throughout the year. But on a whim a few days ago Jenn and I grabbed an extra dvd at Hollywood Video (side note: We were actually there to rent Knocked Up because we realized we were the last people on Earth who hasn't seen it and I wanted to be able to chime in with references or at least understand what everyone was talking about.) and I haven't been the same since.

Since that day I have been OBSESSED with Big Love. I love it. In a totally this is heart-warming, terrifying, so-not-right but isn't it sooo interesting kind of way. Polygamy is intriguing. And the more I watch and live my life the more I realize I might have to become a polygamist just so someone can take care of all the crap I don't want to do. So here's my list of things I'd want a second or third wife for. Applications can be submitted.

1. Doing the laundry. I hate laundry. I hate sorting. I hate folding. I hate putting it away. I hate laundry.
2. Waking up early to take care of my children's needs. I actually pray that my kids will hate mornings as much as I do. Otherwise they'll go hungry until 11 when I roll out of bed in my normal cranky, I need coffee and an hour of no human contact before I am functioning.
3. Making my coffee. So I can have it as soon as I get out of bed. This is actually not selfish at all and for the betterment of society. The quicker caffeine is in my system that quicker I stop cursing the world.
4. Cooking. So my husband and kids won't have to live off of Hamburger Helper and Mac and Cheese.
5. Doing anything that in my 23 years I should already know how to do but just can't seem too figure out. Like making tuna melts or finding the lug nuts on my truck.

I know Jenn pretty much does all this for me now. But in the case that I cannot convince her to be a polygamist I need my options. It might be easier to just make sure I make enough money to hire a maid though. Or enough to pay Jenn for her services :)

Only In My Hometown

Does this happen:

1. I hear "Hot Damn is that Miss Del Norte walking through our door" (For the record it has now been 6 years).
2. I get a free lunch at Denny's cause the guy knows me and my grandma. While there I run into four other people I knew. Ok I knew the whole restaurant but only talked to four others.
3. At Glen's (the only other diner in town) they ask me if I want to put my lunch on my old boss' tab. Hell Yeah!
4. The high school quarterback is listed as one of the ten most influential people in Del Norte County on the back of a menu.
5. I run into people who I don't know who ask how Boston was, when my next story will be out and how my new bedliner is.

Nigel, you know Nigel Barker, my husband? Ya he's now saving seals. How freaking adorable is that? Yup the ORIGINAL hottie photographer (now will be referred to as OHP) is in Canada documenting the birth and then the slaughter of the seals. I never really cared about them before. The seals that is. But if they are allowing Nigel to be out and about and me to see hot pics of him than I say we save the little squirts.

On the topic of hot guys doing cool things...the hot stripper guy from American Idol just busted out "It's All Coming Back To Me" So the vocals weren't as great as Celine's (I mean come on..it's Celine) but how amazing is it that a hot guy-who I swear is not into guys- totally rocked her ballad? AHHHH...I just realized Celine is Canadian. UGH! But she's from where they speak French. That doesn't count. Ok. I'm better now.

I'm A Big Girl Now!

Well it is has finally come to that time where I enter a blog about life after Boston. Because life after Boston has been in full swing now for about a month. To summarize my adventures since leaving the town of snow, ice and the Red Sox, I have provided you with bulleted points:

*Leaving Boston took about four days. After a car accident two hours before our flight, several weather delays and some lost luggage, California never looked so good.
*The holidays were great. My family and I spent time together with virtually no bloodshed. A major triumph.
*Chico life has been fantastic. My humble abode with my BFF is a dream come true. We have coffee in the mornings together, cook dinner together and currently share a bed. I honestly believe that if I wasn't so boy crazy I would be a lesbian and marry her.
*Work has kept me busy. Sure I'm making next to nothing, but making my own hours, writing stories in my slippers and making phone calls while watching The People's Court has its perks.
*I took Jenn home. The second we hit the road coming into Crescent City, she got a real taste of my life. There were cows. In the road. Yup, they broke out and were just hanging out in front of the car. This is where I come from.
*Yesterday I spent a significant amount of time hanging out with the most adorable three-year-old. He loves yellow, fire hydrants and tells me he loves me. If he were twenty years older there would be significant potential. But only if we could control those slobbery kisses.

Snowy Nights

In another moment of brilliance I decided since it was snowing outside I would turn off the lights and let the candles in my fireplace blaze while cooking dinner. The combination of the smoke from my broiled chicken and the candles set my smoke alarm off, which by the way, is wired into my electricity, so you can't take out the batteries to make it shut off. So in order to make the beeping stop I had to open my windows in the freezing temperature to stop the smoke from the fire I wanted to make because it was freezing in the first place. Ugh.

This is just another example of why West Coast girls suffer in Boston. Or maybe it's just me?

Facing Fear

"It's good to be scared. It means you still have something worth losing."

If someone can be inspired by these words before having a ten gauge needle shoved into their chest, I certainly should be able to face my fears!

Baby It's Cold Outside

Thermal underwear? Check. Gloves? Check. Snow Boots? Check. Our first snow? Oh yes! Boston is covered under a beautiful blanket of white snow! Last night I opened up my shades, lit the candles in my fireplace, turned off all noise and sat in the warm bathtub just listening to the snow fall outside with a cup of hot tea. It was one of the most relaxing and blessed moments of my life!

Cut to this morning when I had to walk through slush, get sprayed with snow by people driving too fast, get caught under heavy snow while walking to the T and of course having my coffee get cold WAY too soon because of the freezing temperature.

Still, as much chaos as the little white flakes cause this city, I don't think I could ever grow tired of the moon glistening on my white lawn or the branches frosted with snowflakes. It really is beautiful. Mark my word, someday I will have a Winter Wonderland Wedding.

Losing His Mind

This wasn't on my thankful list, but it does get an honorable mention for making me, my mom, and my sisters crack up on the way to Eureka. Poor Babe.



KLAMATH — Snow couldn't stop Babe the Blue Ox, but apparently, Paul Bunyan's fabled bovine companion is no match for Del Norte's rains.

According to folklore, Bunyan found a freezing Babe in a snowdrift when he was just a young ox, which is where the creature's color comes from. But though Bunyan was able to nurse Babe back to health, he could do nothing to save his sidekick's 35-foot tall replica at the Trees of Mystery attraction, located just north of Klamath.

Tuesday evening, Babe's head fell off, landing snout first on the concrete below, crumbling much of the stucco on his nose and breaking a tip off of one of his horns. According to Trees of Mystery Manager Jeff LaForest, the reason the head snapped off is because water was seeping through an opening to the interior of the statue, compromising the wood inside.

"His head was held on with wooden beams and, obviously, they got rotten enough that they broke," LaForest said with a chuckle. "We did not expect it."

On Wednesday, the hole where Babe's head used to be was covered with blue tarps and a green wreath, perplexing many of the tourists who were taking pictures of the statues.

"It's kind of sad isn't it," LaForest said while surveying the damage to Babe, which, with Paul Bunyan, is an iconic figure in Del Norte County due to its giant size, its location off U.S. Hwy. 101 and its (ahem) anatomical enhancements.

"It actually looks worse than it really is," La Forest said of the damage. He plans to fix the damage himself, using chicken wire and a hard, stucco-like plaster to mend Babe's head.

And he said he will attach steel beams inside to ensure it doesn't fall again. The plan is to have the statue completed by the first week of January.

But that does not mean Babe will be headless until then. Trees of Mystery employee John Wilson will attach a newer, fluffier noggin to the statue in time for the Trees of Mystery's annual Christmas light show that starts tonight.

"Babe's head will be back on," Wilson said, "to make it complete."

Wilson plans on placing the head of a stuffed Babe on the statue as a placeholder in time for the light show. Unfortunately, it will only be a little larger than his fist. But as Wilson said, it's important to have everything ready for the visitors to enjoy over the holiday season.

"We have to get it all cleaned up" in time for the lighting of the Christmas lights, Wilson said. "The show has got to go on."

A Bit of Thanks

In true Thanksgiving fashion, I have spent the holiday thinking about things in my life I am thankful for. In true Toni fashion it took the entire weekend. I put a lot a time just into picking what shoes I’m gonna wear so a heartfelt list is bound to take a couple extra days! So here it is:

1. My wonderful friend who skips outta class early to drive an hour and a half to pick me up just so I can steal the covers for a night.
2. Hottie interns who write adorable stories on my laptop so I can find them a day later and crack up.
3. Avocado scramble. No explanation necessary.
4. Hometown football games.
5. Eating apple pie for breakfast, lunch and dinner the day after Thanksgiving.
6. Shoving a chunk of warm brownie in my mouth while listening to Brian start a round of “discussion” questions a la Yosemite Hiking Trip.
7. The release of Hairspray and same day viewing with the same girlie I listened to the soundtrack 25 times to on the trip home to LA.
8. Waking up to biscuits and gravy, eggs and bacon cause my dad can’t sleep past five am.
9. My sisters. And the crap we put my parents and the little bro through.
10. Seeing the five “floats” that composed the Christmas Light Parade and knowing that five years ago my crown-topped head was on one of those.
11. Catching up with old friends.
12. Having my mom buy me a coffee every morning because she needs a caffeine fix just as badly as I do.
13. Elf. The greatest movie.
14. The fact that I can now officially start singing Christmas Carols without looking mentally ill.

And the real number one……being done with grad school in three weeks (which also includes Jenn and I's Farewell to Boston Tour)!!!!!!

Only in CC

I don't know what's worse. This article or the fact that my own cow used to break out and cause terror among the streets of CC. Or maybe that my Dad once hit a horse. Bottom Line: Watch out for livestock in Northern Cali.

Cows killed in auto accidents

Published: October 23, 2007

By Nicholas Grube

Triplicate staff writer

CRESCENT CITY — Escaped cattle collided with two vehicles over the weekend causing a bovine massacre on U.S. Hwy. 101.

In total, four cows were killed after they somehow wandered onto Hwy. 101 around 7:30 p.m. Sunday and were struck by a Ford F250 pick-up truck coming down Crescent Hill in the northbound lane.

"There was cows all over the place," said Budget Towing's Mark Dunlap, who assisted in cleaning up the wreckage Sunday evening.

"I had to attach a chain to one of the cows' legs to pull it out" from under the truck, Dunlap said.

The initial impact didn't kill all the cows, Dunlap said, with one of the animals struggling to survive when he arrived. "It probably had a broken back," he said of the cow.

According to the California Highway Patrol, the Ford truck wasn't the first vehicle to encounter the free-ranging cows.

"One accident happened about two minutes before the other one," CHP Public Information Officer Don Bloyd said.

A cow ran out into the road and into the right side of Crescent City resident Edgar Murillo's mini-van as he was traveling down Crescent Hill near Endert Beach Road, Bloyd said. Three others joined it in the roadway when the Ford F250—driven by 62-year-old James A. Clark of Brookings—came down Hwy. 101 and slammed into the group.

"He (Clark) K.O.'d the four of them," Bloyd said.

Seeing cows in the roadways around Del Norte is not unusual, Bloyd said, especially on rural streets.

"Cows out in the road is pretty common," Bloyd said, "not necessarily on Hwy. 101, but on the side roads, yeah."

Neither Murillo or Clark sustained any substantial injuries during the accidents.

Hating On A Jet Plane

It wouldn't be a trip to Cali without wonderful airport experiences. The more I travel the more I realize I hate traveling.

After my first three hour flight I ended up with a major chocolate craving. I tried to forget the fact that I was in hell (aka Texas) and actually thought I could easily score some peanut m&ms. To my utter dismay, my first experience with a vending machine was with one that only sold ipods, digital cameras, those little play station things and headphones. No joke. The vending machine sold $300 items instead of my $1.00 pack of chocolate. I really wanted to kick it, but there was a security guard standing there and people in Texas really love the death penalty.

So without chocolate I made the intense journey from Terminal C to Terminal E. Along the two mile trek I realized how discriminatory those little airport carts are that pick people up and take them to gates. I do have a disability. It's called laziness. Who says I'm not worthy enough to sit next to that guy with the cast or the 90-year-old couple? My legs don't want to walk just like theirs.

So after I finally make it to my gate, I hear a voice that strikes fear into every nerve of my body. I was thinking this voice is just like the one that four months ago made me want to crawl under a table and hide. Then I realized it was the same one. I haven't confirmed the details but my view of the tv from across three gates lead me to believe the voice was none other than Wendy Murphy's. I would say she is comparable to the Janice Dickinson of the legal world. Remarkably great style with a twist of cross me and I'll make you wish that your spleen was being plucked out of your body with a rusty bobby pin.


I did somehow make it to the great Golden State. Fabulous Fall weekend. And made it back here just in time for the craziness that is this city and their love of their cursed team. There is seriously an article on the Boston Globe Web site of how to "cope" at work during this critical time. They call it Red Sox Fan Syndrome. You think I'm lying but that sad sad truth is that I'm not.

All By Myself

I worried that I would choke and no one would be there to save me. Or that taking out the trash by myself every week would be too hard. Or that sleeping by myself every night would scare the crap out of me. But tonight I realized how much I love my fabulous little life. I can walk the "runway" that is my living room in nothing but my underwear while watching America's Next Top Model. I can sing at the top of my lungs in the shower to Backstreet Boys and Celine Dion. And on a Friday night when all I wanna do is drink a cup of tea and simultaneously watch 20/20 and Anderson Cooper, no one thinks I'm a dork. Oh and who could forget making dinner while wearing a towel. Who would have thought that those Saturday morning omelets that Jesse provided this summer would actually inspire my culinary skills?

I might not have a gorgeous husband to come home to every night...but right now I wouldn't trade my Boston solitude for anything else. Except maybe a In-n-Out neopolitan milkshake.

Part of My World

It all makes sense now why God let me get into BU. He knew that I would be on the East Coast for a year and a half which includes these next four months. And he knew that The Little Mermaid was going to be hitting Broadway. He wanted me to be there. And the only way I would actually have an excuse to got to NYC to see it is if I lived a three hour car ride away, rather than a six hour flight.

I really think at this moment all my dreams have come true. 46 days and counting.... Now if I can just find someone to go with!

Blown Away

That fan I thought I would never use again because it is now so freaking chilly...ya new use for it....fanning out my "kitchen" so as not to set off the fire alarm yet again and have to have the guy across the hall come over and make it stop cause I'm too short to reach it.

For the record my only encounters with the people in my building include meeting everyone the day I locked myself out for an hour and a half, the smoke alarm debacle, and falling through the door with a package in my hands and (luckily) into the arms of my fire fighter. I've only been here for a week.

It's something about that twang

Who would have known in a little hidden Irish pub in Boston that my long lost favorite country song would come on. I'm even thinking about spending the 99 cents to download it. Blake Shelton where have you been? If you come back, know this....

"If you're calling bout my heart it's still yours
I should have listened to it a little more
Than it wouldn't have taken me so long to find where I belong."

And you know what's cool? Austin sounds like Boston. So I can put it in the song when I sing it and make all the IRA members in the pub look at me like I'm the craziest person they have ever seen. And that's something.

Back in Beantown

Well it's hard to blog about Boston Creme Toni when Toni was in Cali all summer. But now that she has left the land of everything good to the land of why the hell is there no Mexican food anywhere she has some great material to work with!

Hmm...so a recap of my first week...would require about an 180 minute full length feature film. Mom actually said at one point that my life is straight from a hilarious movie. I wanted to throw the phone onto the Mass Pike. Then I realized having no form of communication would possibly just add salt to the wound.

To keep things simple I will say this. I have no car. I have no sense of direction. I had no house. And the Statehouse Program is about as intense as a Category Five Hurricane. My first weekend was spent walking about ten blocks in the heat in heels and with a suitcase in hand balling my eyes out because I still had twenty more blocks to go in two minutes to make it to my rental car. I've learned that people can google me just like I can google them so I won't go into all the details of that day. But I think it had a promising ending. We'll see come next week.

I've had just about every emotion known to man in the past week. But somehow have managed to stay somewhat alive and coherent. My lesson has been that I need to leave about two hours before I need to be anywhere to make time to get completely lost and then call my parents or sister or Jenn and find myself back on track.

The weather is still as bipolar as ever. Yesterday it was 95 degrees. Today the sun is nowhere in sight.

Oh yes and I am in the land of gold shirt wearing BC maniacs. Dar how did you ever do this? My favorite new coffee shop is right across from BC so all I see is undergrads running around. As much as I thought there wasn't a huge age difference I am feeling it more and more. I wonder if this means I should give up on Zac? He is only 19. And apparently likes nakey pictures of his girlfriend. Apparently innocence nowadays can't even be found on Disney.

Twilight Zone

For those of you who knew me back in the days of countless scoops of ice cream, you know about my thing for Hottie Ice Cream Scooper. For those that didn't, you have probably heard. But if you are one of the few who have no idea what I am talking about let me give you a brief history. Toni used to love ice cream (hmm...maybe used to should not have been used), and frequented Baskin Robbins often. One night Toni was heading with a bunch of girls after a sorority meeting to the little gelateria when she called the jerk that she was "dating" at the time to only get more jerkiness from him. She cried. A lot. In the short few blocks from the BMU to Mangrove she asked God through her tears to give her a sign that there was someone NORMAL out there for her that she could fall in love with. Enter Hottie Ice Cream Scooper who saw Toni come in, gave her free ice cream cause he could see she was having a rough night, and gave her his phone number as well. She called (Obviously...duh...he was a SIGN from GOD!). They went to coffee. They saw each other a few more times cause she couldn't help but eat three scoops of ice cream after the gym...but nothing really came of the relationship-mostly because Toni was boy crazy and kept going back to the jerk. But then Hottie Ice Cream Scooper moved to the GAP which Toni in no way could afford and they lost touch. Toni moved on, life was happy with non-existent Hottie until today when she saw him at church. Yes indeed Hottie Ice Cream Scooper who scoops no more was praising God and reading the scriptures right in front of her ( and with a humungous man beard!) Toni thought to say hi but was definitely embarrassed by the fact that she had no idea what his name was because she only referred to him as Hottie Ice Cream Scooper. So instead, she did a casual walk by and smile and raced home to blog about it. Toni is now contemplating what the next step will be. Probably more ice cream...sans Hottie Ice Cream Scooper.

On My Way To Being Bill Nye

Ok so weird scientific fact I learned last night:

When placing gummi bears in frozen yogurt, the bears themselves become hard. And not like a little bit hard. Like playing chess while reading CS Lewis while learning to master the piano hard. Isn't that weird? I thought it was fascinating.

Movie Reveiw Moment: I saw Stranger Than Fiction last night as well. It was pretty funny. In that really dry sense of humor way that I have. Basically I just love Will Ferrell so anything he is in I can find value in.