Back in Beantown

Well it's hard to blog about Boston Creme Toni when Toni was in Cali all summer. But now that she has left the land of everything good to the land of why the hell is there no Mexican food anywhere she has some great material to work with!

Hmm...so a recap of my first week...would require about an 180 minute full length feature film. Mom actually said at one point that my life is straight from a hilarious movie. I wanted to throw the phone onto the Mass Pike. Then I realized having no form of communication would possibly just add salt to the wound.

To keep things simple I will say this. I have no car. I have no sense of direction. I had no house. And the Statehouse Program is about as intense as a Category Five Hurricane. My first weekend was spent walking about ten blocks in the heat in heels and with a suitcase in hand balling my eyes out because I still had twenty more blocks to go in two minutes to make it to my rental car. I've learned that people can google me just like I can google them so I won't go into all the details of that day. But I think it had a promising ending. We'll see come next week.

I've had just about every emotion known to man in the past week. But somehow have managed to stay somewhat alive and coherent. My lesson has been that I need to leave about two hours before I need to be anywhere to make time to get completely lost and then call my parents or sister or Jenn and find myself back on track.

The weather is still as bipolar as ever. Yesterday it was 95 degrees. Today the sun is nowhere in sight.

Oh yes and I am in the land of gold shirt wearing BC maniacs. Dar how did you ever do this? My favorite new coffee shop is right across from BC so all I see is undergrads running around. As much as I thought there wasn't a huge age difference I am feeling it more and more. I wonder if this means I should give up on Zac? He is only 19. And apparently likes nakey pictures of his girlfriend. Apparently innocence nowadays can't even be found on Disney.

Twilight Zone

For those of you who knew me back in the days of countless scoops of ice cream, you know about my thing for Hottie Ice Cream Scooper. For those that didn't, you have probably heard. But if you are one of the few who have no idea what I am talking about let me give you a brief history. Toni used to love ice cream (hmm...maybe used to should not have been used), and frequented Baskin Robbins often. One night Toni was heading with a bunch of girls after a sorority meeting to the little gelateria when she called the jerk that she was "dating" at the time to only get more jerkiness from him. She cried. A lot. In the short few blocks from the BMU to Mangrove she asked God through her tears to give her a sign that there was someone NORMAL out there for her that she could fall in love with. Enter Hottie Ice Cream Scooper who saw Toni come in, gave her free ice cream cause he could see she was having a rough night, and gave her his phone number as well. She called (Obviously...duh...he was a SIGN from GOD!). They went to coffee. They saw each other a few more times cause she couldn't help but eat three scoops of ice cream after the gym...but nothing really came of the relationship-mostly because Toni was boy crazy and kept going back to the jerk. But then Hottie Ice Cream Scooper moved to the GAP which Toni in no way could afford and they lost touch. Toni moved on, life was happy with non-existent Hottie until today when she saw him at church. Yes indeed Hottie Ice Cream Scooper who scoops no more was praising God and reading the scriptures right in front of her ( and with a humungous man beard!) Toni thought to say hi but was definitely embarrassed by the fact that she had no idea what his name was because she only referred to him as Hottie Ice Cream Scooper. So instead, she did a casual walk by and smile and raced home to blog about it. Toni is now contemplating what the next step will be. Probably more ice cream...sans Hottie Ice Cream Scooper.

On My Way To Being Bill Nye

Ok so weird scientific fact I learned last night:

When placing gummi bears in frozen yogurt, the bears themselves become hard. And not like a little bit hard. Like playing chess while reading CS Lewis while learning to master the piano hard. Isn't that weird? I thought it was fascinating.

Movie Reveiw Moment: I saw Stranger Than Fiction last night as well. It was pretty funny. In that really dry sense of humor way that I have. Basically I just love Will Ferrell so anything he is in I can find value in.

Addendum To My List of Learned Things

See previous post to see where I left off....

a. Toilet paper rolls and bailing twine are multi-functional.
b. You haven't lived until you've crammed three people on an ATV.
c. Driving an ATV while singing Wilson Phillips is totally the cool thing to do. Basically anything involving singing Wilson Phillips is cool.
d. People who don't know how to turn off their cell phones in a movie theater after the THIRD time it rings need to be shanked with a dull rusty razor blade.
e. Riding in a car is a pretty much a lullaby for me.
f. It's ok to eat champagne and strawberries for dinner.
g. Carrie so should have not cheated on Aiden...and why did he leave her after they got back together? (A total random thought that has no relevance to this conversation)

I will be published again this week! Woohoo!

Things I Have Learned In The Last 24Hours

1. When making corn on the bbq one must flip it over so as to not char one entire side.
2. No bathroom is complete without a picture of you and Rush Limbaugh hanging in it.
3. I have a thing for the smell of bug spray. Weird turn on #54.
4. Singing Wilson Phillips is best done karaoke style in a dive bar in the middle of nowhere.
5. Anything green on a 900 acre ranch in the middle of summer equals death. In other words green=poison oak.
6. Gin is not reserved strictly for tonic and is a game I am rather skilled at.

Sunshine Day!

My faithful readers have been begging for a new post...I hope they will be just as excited to read my articles on city council meetings when I really make it big!!!! So here it is: I am back in the beautiful Chico sunshine and am enjoying thawing out and letting my toes actually breathe for a change. I actually forgot that I had ankles and shins!!!! I even went swimming ( TONI'S Dictionary Defintion: Swimming: the art of sitting in a chlorinated body of water and slightly bobbing every once in a while while still keeping your hair perfectly in place and mascara from running. At no time does the head go under the water. Splashing by others is not tolerated) with the small children on Tuesday. Last week at this time I was still wearing my rain boots and having my pink umbrella turned inside out from Wizard of Oz magnitute gusts of wind. Oh what the West Coast can do for you.

Adjusting had been a bit rough but as through all things God has clothed me with a tremendous amount of strength and comfort. I already am missing my coffee mornings with Brie, watching endless hours of tv with the roomies, and even have a slight desire to see that MAC lab one more time-though maybe just to egg it. The past few days have been a mental, emotional, and physical challenge like no other I have experienced, but its given me such an opportunity to take joy in the little things in life: sloppy chocolate faced kisses from little ones, the feeling of crisp new cool sheets on a hot afternoon, ZUPPA TUSCANA SOUP (oh how I had missed it so!) and of course those hugs from friends when they hold you just a little bit longer and tighter just because.

So enough of the weather and gushiness and to the stuff that matters most. Blake has made it through one more week. Which means that I still have one more night at the very least to see him sing his heart out to me. And the other 20 million that view the show. But we all know I am his muse. And while Blake may be in, Blair sadly is out. I will no longer have a prime minister to swoon over. And the Supreme Court Justices are on my bad side. I may have to leave politics for a while and stick with my entertainment crushes. What has the world come to when I can't find a world leader to have the hots for?

I Might Be Meeting The Tin Man

The trek across the U.S. is now full fledged into the second day of travel. After visiting the birthplace and grave site of my dad's dad, we cut through Ohio, Indiana and tonight have ended in Columbia, Missouri.

Despite all odds, my dad and I have yet to kill each other. Today was nice, being able to see the cute little country town that he went to visit his dad in over the summers and also to be able to see a part of the country that I have never been to. I was thouroughly disspointed with Hardee's though and its misrepresentation as a Carl's Jr. You cannot carry the Star if you don't carry Western Bacon Cheeseburgers and Crisscut Fries.

Tomorrow might be somewhat of an adventure. We are just outside of Kansas and have to drive across it tomorrow-and tornadoes are ripping through the state. My little red truck night become a flying little red truck.

Team Kate

Aside from all the accusations about Kate's mommy asking for the toilet after meeting the queen or chewing gum throughout their entire meeting this quote was perhaps the most disturbing to me:

"Don't rush down the aisle - we don't want another DIANA," Queen Elizabeth was said to have told him.

Certainly the world would go under if another beautiful and charasmatic woman touched the lives of those that the Queen barely recognizes as existing. Why does she continue to insist that Diana was synonymous with the plague?

As for William, I continue to be confused as to why so many are joyous about the breakup. If Kate wasn't good enough, I'm sorry but you aren't either.

Come And Fill This Place

I found this so profoundly inspiring that I just had to type it up and post it....

"When I see that a person has a deficient in his or her relationships with people, I know they have a deficient in their relationship with God. When we are rightly relating with God, we gain the ability to rightly relate to others. The key is to discover what is missing in their relationship with God."

And it gets better...."Noncommunicative? How much are you praying and talking to God? Distant? Maybe you have a hurt that you haven't allowed God to heal. Always nagging? How's your trust level with God."

I know that I have issues with some of these in some of my relationships (and others in other ones) and people who have relationships with me may be dealing with this too. Kinda nice to know God is watching out for me and meeting me when I feel like I need him most. I always try to make it so much harder than it has to be and sometimes I feel like he just has to hit me over the head!!!!

Although there was nothing in there on having a bad relationship with a cop who pulls you over and almost arrests you. God, what does that mean about our relationship?

Resist The Peacock

Tonight I discovered a remarkable tragedy. NBC has canceled The Black Donnelly's. What is worse is that I had no notice, no time to prepare, no transition into my now empty existence on Monday nights. I had no idea until I turned on the tv and where my hottie mobsters once were there was a woman in an outlandishly tacky blue dress singing on a stage. Seriously NBC...you expect to get higher ratings with this?

Please join me in banning NBC from your televisions. Honestly it probably won't be too hard. Who watches NBC anyways anymore? The only thing worthwhile is ER and I can wait until the season premieres on TNT.

For the record this is the FOURTH show that has been arbitrarily pulled from my television causing me to fall into a deep pit of viewer depression. First Reunion, then Summerland, then the OC, and now this. Maybe God is telling me to ply outside more. Sigh.

Mountain Woman

For the record- for those that have implied that I went hiking against my will or that I am in some way or another outdoorsy-challenged....you are right. BUT I did not whine once. And I have references.

I'm in love with my news man (or men)

I have decided to apply to win a trip with Nick Kristoff. I am over being mad at him for not respoding to my emails. Though I wonder if my application will be tossed aside like those messages. Nick if you're reading, I only write them because I love you.

For those not privy to my bedroom television habits, I have remained faithful in my ban against Anderson Cooper. I figure by losing me as a viewer his ratings will go down and he will return to his home of covering real news and forget about following the drama of Anna Nicole Smith. Seriously Anderson, please come back. I figure by summertime I might be able to once again see life in a 360 view. That is enough time for my anger to blow over. Though I have been secretly looking at his book cover every night before I go to bed so I won't forget his dashing blue eyes.

Oh yes and snow will be hitting us again soon. My enthusiasm rates right up there with my love of being stabbed in the eyes with toothpicks drenched in pickle juice and fart smell. Ugg...only five more weeks in this city of bitter bitter coldness.

The Silver Lining

I hate mornings like these. The ones where it is impossible to drag yourself out of the comfort of your cocoon of blankets and actually have to function for the next fourteen hours with some intellect. The ones where there is little light entering your bedroom, creating the sense that it is still 4:00 am and you have two more hours of sleep, not the fact that it is actually time to arise and face not only the morning, but the rain. The ones where I am in dire need of coffee, but the very fact that I could not get out of bed results in the mad rush to class, sans caffiene. The ones where people decide they have no idea how to drive and traffic is backed up because merging is a concept lost to them on their morning commute. The ones where I finally get the opportunity to quench my thirst for liquid life and I realize I forgot my debit card and have a single dollar bill to last me throughout the day.

But I love morningss like these. Mornings that make me grateful for the snooze button on my alarm clock. Grateful for my adorable rain boots. Grateful for the homeless men who direct traffic on my freeway exit. Grateful for my wonderful friends who not only buy me breakfast, but give me cash for the rest of the day.

God has a funny way of showing me my blessings. That guy has a great sense of humor!

Choices Too Hard To Make

My heart is torn is two totally opposite directions. And it hurts. The pain I feel is like other. How could I have put myself in this situation...

Do I watch The Black Donnellys or The Hills on Monday nights at ten? ARG. The agony.

A New Arrival!

This is my first post from my BRAND NEW MACBOOK! Woohoo! I love love love it....and loved the price. Being a student sometimes has it perks. Pictures of my new little joy will soon arrive!

No Longer All By Myself

The world is suddenly back on its axis. Celine Dion has returned. And in a big way. What better way to come out of hiding out at Caesar's Palace than looking more beautiful than ever singing at the Academy Awards?

Who cares about the winners and the rest of the show (Although the body contortionist people are awesome!)? My heart can now truly go on!

Rock My World

I'm usually not a big fan of awards shows, but at the end of my rope with all my normal procrastination measures last night, I decided to tune into the Grammy's.

All I can say is WOW! I developed a girl crush on Carrie Underwood who sang just about the most fascinating version of Desperado. And the sexy collaboration between her and Rascal Flatts almost made me MELT. And I gained a whole new persepctive on Mary J. Blige. Man that woman can sing. Though the red pants suit disturbed me a bit.

The only major complaint I have is omigosh why did Many Moore look like a giant? She was seriously massive on the screen. I understand that next to Leanne Rimes she might look a little big, but she looked like the Jolly Green Giant. And in a very bad dress. Mandy, I love you. Please do not do this to me.

On a side note the New Englanders have brain washed me. Yesterday I stepped outside and thought wow...it sure is warm today. Displayed on the Killian's sign that I passed on my way into the city, I realized it was 32 degrees. I think 32 degrees is warm. The gods must be crazy.

The Kristoff Kiss Off

He hasn't written back yet. I've resolved myself to checking my email every ten minutes, rather than every five. I think he might be in Nepal. Bad internet connection? Maybe he lost his laptop. Maybe he is feeding hungry children and doesn't have the time now to respond-though he really wants to. Maybe he is walking around trying to create the perfect response to his biggest fan.

Maybe I need to get a life. Or a new subject to email. Anderson Cooper, watch your inbox. Your my new journalistic source (and love). And people say I'm fickle.

Bold and Beautiful

I can't even send my food back if I get the wrong entree. But I just finished emailing Nick Kristoff asking for an interview. Holy Crap. Boston has made me bold. For those you are keeping track, if he agrees to speak with me, I will have interviewed TWO of my top idols (Anita Diamant being the first). That alone is worth my $50,000 a year tuition.

H-E-Lots of Hockey Sticks

I would like to preface this blog with a quick statement. Screw Al Gore. And his Inconvenient Truth. You know what's inconvenient for me? When I have to ride the T with people who smell like vomit, are vomiting, or girls that shove me out of the way to ride one block causing me motion sickness and the need to vomit.

Where does this anger stem from? I went to a BU Hockey Game on Friday night. And since there is no parking at the arena, I parked behind my beloved store and took the T down to the arena. Big mistake. Looking back on it, I should have risked the hypothermia and loss of my toes but instead I got on the T of Terror. Next time I must use public transportation I am bringing a bottle of perfume. That way I can spray anyone who happens to be sending a stench my way as well as squirt some in the eyes of the girls who think they have the right to stand where I am. Your Prada bag is not a license to be rude. Plus mine is so much cuter.

So onto what really matters: hockey. Love the game. Hot guys smashing each other into walls. Its pretty amazing. And when they screw up they go to time out. Now here is a sport where inventors really went right. To reach men, you MUST meet them at their level. In my experiences, men happen to be nothing more than three year olds in bigger, hairier bodies with bottles of beer instead of bottles of milk. So shouldn't punishments for men model those of a three year olds? When little Johnny pushes his baby sister he goes to the corner. When big Johnny pushes big hot opponent, he goes to the corner. Reinforcement of the rules goes a long way. I bet some child psychologist thought of hockey sometime after figuring out how to make a dog salivate.

Final sentence: BU tied. But oh the possibilities of mankind winning if we all took a lesson from those inventors of the penalty box.