Hating On A Jet Plane

It wouldn't be a trip to Cali without wonderful airport experiences. The more I travel the more I realize I hate traveling.

After my first three hour flight I ended up with a major chocolate craving. I tried to forget the fact that I was in hell (aka Texas) and actually thought I could easily score some peanut m&ms. To my utter dismay, my first experience with a vending machine was with one that only sold ipods, digital cameras, those little play station things and headphones. No joke. The vending machine sold $300 items instead of my $1.00 pack of chocolate. I really wanted to kick it, but there was a security guard standing there and people in Texas really love the death penalty.

So without chocolate I made the intense journey from Terminal C to Terminal E. Along the two mile trek I realized how discriminatory those little airport carts are that pick people up and take them to gates. I do have a disability. It's called laziness. Who says I'm not worthy enough to sit next to that guy with the cast or the 90-year-old couple? My legs don't want to walk just like theirs.

So after I finally make it to my gate, I hear a voice that strikes fear into every nerve of my body. I was thinking this voice is just like the one that four months ago made me want to crawl under a table and hide. Then I realized it was the same one. I haven't confirmed the details but my view of the tv from across three gates lead me to believe the voice was none other than Wendy Murphy's. I would say she is comparable to the Janice Dickinson of the legal world. Remarkably great style with a twist of cross me and I'll make you wish that your spleen was being plucked out of your body with a rusty bobby pin.


I did somehow make it to the great Golden State. Fabulous Fall weekend. And made it back here just in time for the craziness that is this city and their love of their cursed team. There is seriously an article on the Boston Globe Web site of how to "cope" at work during this critical time. They call it Red Sox Fan Syndrome. You think I'm lying but that sad sad truth is that I'm not.